Here we begin.
Hello Friends,
I noticed in the past few months I was struggling to keep up with the pace of the world. I recognized the repetitive thought, “I just need a few more hours every day”. I slowly realized I had fallen once again into the land of overcommitting, of having unrealistic expectations of myself and then the subsequent unkind thoughts of disappointment when I didn’t meet them. I made a choice to slow down for a few months, allow my body and soul to recover, and to move more intentionally toward listening.
In the initial quiet, first came relief for rest, and then discomfort and fear. I felt guilt and self-judgment for being less productive. I felt uncertainty about identity if it wasn’t tied to work. I kept listening. I resisted the abundant fleeting urges toward productivity invitations and smiled at how tempting they were. Gradually, I began to once again hear the wisdom in the silence, the messages from my body, the grace of spirit. I began to hear the birdsong, the wind, the tree speak, the rock speak. I began again to feel the interconnectedness of life, and the felt understanding of innate wisdom and worth.
I feel the in-between, the chrysalis, the subtle and unceasing shout of change. Do you feel it too? I am in a season of unpredictable transformation, of moving toward the voices of the grandmothers and stepping into the meaning of a seat at their table. I feel deeply the call to reflection, of needing to be thoughtful and intentional with my work, how and where I share it, alongside how to balance that with the tending of my own heart, body and soul. I have always felt there to be a soft invitation in grounded humility. I still find that to be true. I have also heard requests for more voices to be shared. Herein lies the conundrum. There are so many words out there, I am admittedly uncertain mine are any relevant contribution, but I know I want to hear you, so perhaps you want to hear me. I have studied and taught and practiced in the healing traditions for most of my life. I have had tremendous fortune in extraordinary teachers in multiple disciplines. I have studied for my own healing, and to help others where I can, ultimately understanding that my ability to help remains tied to being steadfast in my own practices. This is a humbling limitation, but a true one. I now walk in the fields of depth psychotherapy and functional health. I envision a time when the unmistakable connectedness of these lenses is relatable and understood on a wider scale than what is currently offered. For this, I will bring evidence based and research informed reflections to prompt more questions.
May we all continue to learn, grow and share with one another. May I remain able and willing to see and reflect your innate wisdom and truth, and you mine. I will be using the space here to that end, to share things I have learned and continue to learn, in the hopes it may be of benefit somehow.
